change

this year, one of my many new year resolutions is discipline. very broad i know. but very necessary in my life. very. for most of my life, i have found excuses for why i am not organized, not in shape, & not an early riser (among many other things). my go to reason is "i was just not made that way". I have been praying for God to reveal certain sin in my life and one (of the million) He's shown me is laziness. very embarrassing to admit, but very true. so, i'm taking several steps to be more disciplined in all areas of life and begging God for change. From past experience, i know i cannot do this on my own.

1. Wake up early in the morning/read God's Word.

if people only knew how many mornings i skip this and choose sleep. By God's grace, i am learning how much better his Word is than sleep, than the Today Show, than anything. i'm brought to tears as i think about his faithful love for me. no matter how many times i pick the world over Him, he is still waiting for me when i cry out to Him. He still loves me and He is good to me.

2. i'm 27 which means i'm an adult and have been for a long time. i'm really too old to be messy. i'm putting myself on a cleaning schedule. just typing those words makes me cringe. but it is completely necessary. without a schedule, my house becomes a disaster zone on a daily basis. the schedule is still in the works, but my #1 rule is that i cannot go to bed until everything is picked up and in its right spot. Lord help me!

3. i am going to get in shape. I will never be in my 20's again. now's the time. so, i am training for a ....5K. i'm sure you expected me to say something awesome like a half marathon. But, who are we kidding? There's no way. I can barely run a mile without needing to sit on the curb. So, i'm starting out small. 2 of best friends are training with me. my sweet friend Callie is the kind of friend every girl needs. she is encouraging and motivating. and, she won't let me get out of this darn thing. God bless her. let me just give you a little glimpse of how easy this "training" is. Week 2 consisted of running 2 minutes/walking 2 minutes ....alternate that for a total of 20 minutes, 3 times a week and you're done! it's actually rather hilarious how pitiful i am after the run/walk. but, i've gotta start somewhere.

4. memorize scripture. this goes with number 1. but, only recently have i understood the importance of this. i've always been a worry wart. but this past year i have really battled anxiety. on a whole new level. it's been awful and has driven me to complete frustration, to tears, and to my knees many times. i have longed for peace like never before. i have read scripture which has helped for the moment. but, in the midst of major worry i can't remember it...because i did not know it by heart. one verse that forever changed me is this

YOU WILL KEEP HIM IN PERFECT PEACE, WHOSE MIND IS STAYED ON YOU, BECAUSE HE TRUSTS IN YOU . . . ISAIAH 26:3.

i'm learning that one way I can be steadfast, with my mind stayed on Him, is by memorizing scripture. In times of worry, i want to be able to shout, sing, & pray God's truth over and over until His peace has overwhelmed those fears.